Know Your Enemy

(align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[Know Your Enemy] (align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[a non-linear, multi-media hypertext musico-literary ficto-critical memoir, packed with compound adjectives and prolapsed subtitles Bodhi 心 Paine-Mason] (align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[[;]]

# Introduction //Know Your Enemy: a multi-media hypertext musico-literary ficto-critical memoir, packed with compound adjectives and prolapsed subtitles// is an experiment in hypertext recording the music and literature that has influenced my evolution since about 1990. I was born in 1983, but the accepted wisdom is that our conscious mind does not come online until we are about 7. That said, there will be songs from before the 80s ~ as a matter of course. To get this project started, I made a few [[agreements with myself|the Agreements]] (optional reading, not advised). For you to get this project started, I recommend the [[Table of Contents]]. Don't be too fooled by the Table of Contents though, which is just one place to start. Another is the [[Indices]]. Or the [[Appenices]]! Or you could jump in at one of my [[cortexts|"Society"]].

# the Agreements //These are conditions/parametres I need to agree with if I want to produce anything without constantly second-guessing myself. They may also be published along with the actual artefact for any fellow nerds who might appreciate it.// ''It will be produced using Twine'', because: then I can map the pages and the narrative lines produced by the links. I will need to "port" the text over to a site for publishing. The structure is based on Joseph Campbell's monomyth of the hero's journey, and the reason for this is to rewrite my life story so that I am the hero, not the victim. So this is a therapeutic exercise and, for other reasons, a spiritual practice (supporting the cultivation of a healthy ego by placing my small-self in its place ~ its place being: within a much vaster system than I could ever fully comprehend ... hence the sprawling, ever-expanding nature of this ~~beast~~ artefact 🦋🧠 ''The creation of this artefact is an opportunity'' to (size:3)[test] myself, learn something new (such as coding! ☎️🌍🤯📚🤓🙏🏻🦋💚), stretch the wings of my creativity, and embrace my love for emojis, which I wasn't born with, in 1983. ''Each page/passage will have some kind of format'', so: it feels complete to a reader; I know when it's "complete"; I have some parametres to guide my work. Page types include: * song * literary passage * notes/asides * monographs ''It will be unashamedly nerdy'', sometimes with long ficto-critical tracts exploring esoteric subjects such as the illumination of the unconscious. I might include patchy depictions of dreams. This is related to me reclaiming the so-called maladaption of "thinking too much": I am not a victim of an over-active intellect; my over-active intellect is an adaptation to the belittlement of my upbrining, and is now a veritable superpower. As much as I will try to publish only "complete" pages, ''I will also embrace the reality that I need to publish unfinished things'' if I don't want to get stuck/paralysed with publishing and be sitting on a stack of half-finished, unpublished entries. ''The style of grammar/punctuation will be unashamedly idiosyncratic.'' ''The whole thing will be produced using as much free and open-source software as possible.'' There may be an option for folk to send donations. Free, copyright-free images will be used as much as possible, and modified according to my evolving understanding of progressive copyright. |work out how to set an indent| I still need to consider the copyright structure I will use for the overall artefact.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[//Fallacious cognitions spewed from televisions Do mold our decisions So step into the light Can't you see what I see now! //] (align:"=><=")+(box:"X=")[~ [["New Skin"]] by Incubus ] (align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[[Introduction]]

# Table of Contents .i [[Consensus Reality]]: The monomyth 0. [[Separation]] 0.0. The Ordinary 80s 0. Initiation 0. Return

# Index of Songs [["Society"]] by Eddie Vedder (originally by Jerry Hannan) "Better Than" by [[John Butler]] [["Cycling Trivialities"]] by José González

# (align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[Part 1] ## (align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[Separation] . . . . . . . I would be getting ahead of myself to start with a thesis about how the birth trauma is our first and greatest //separation// from genuine happiness, truth and wholeness. Prior to birth we are one with our mother, and prior to conception we are one with Everything. Like I said, it's just a theory. But it's a theory that is sufficiently important to me that I named my phone "One and Everything", so that when I connect to bluetooth it says, "Now connected to ... one and everything." It's the little things, on the one hand, and the big things such as "The Great Matter", on the other hand, that make me happy. [[The Ordinary 80s ~>]]

# "Society" by Eddie Vedder (originally by Jerry Hannan) ~ ~ ~ It's a mystery to me We have a greed with which we have agreed And you think you have to want more than you need Until you have it all, you won't be free Society, you're a crazy breed I hope you're not lonely without me When you want more than you have, you think you need And when you think more than you want, your thoughts begin to bleed I think I need to find a bigger place Cause when you have more than you think, you need more space Society, you're a crazy breed I hope you're not lonely without me Society, crazy indeed Hope you're not lonely without me There's those thinking more or less, less is more But if less is more, how you keepin score? Means for every point you make your level drops Kinda like you're startin' from the top And you can't do that Society, you're a crazy breed I hope you're not lonely without me Society, crazy indeed I hope you're not lonely without me Society, have mercy on me I hope you're not angry if I disagree Society, you're crazy indeed I hope you're not lonely without me ~ ~ ~ //It's a no-brainer that I am including this song, and playing it now reminds me of how the whole Lycian Way story might constitute a separate hero's journey of its own because I certainly ventured into the unknown when// I decided almost on a whim to go walking on the Lycian Way in southeastern Turkey. I had seen the trekking trail advertised when I was staying at the guesthouse near Taxim Square and thought, //No way is that for me!// even though this was after the Eden Hills chapter when I had started gearing up to go long-distance cycle touring. This was when I read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, //which obviously rates as one of the books I will write about.// . . . . . . It's a curious thing, [[memory]].

# Appendices * [[style sheet]]

Style Sheet //Helping the inordinately curious reader to understand some of my styling choices.//

# memory //a monograph// I have said countless times, to friends and in therapy, “I have a blackhole where the recollection of my adolescence should be.” There are reasons for this: [[trauma]]; a pretty heavy pot habit by the time I was about 15. By ‘trauma’ I mean repression, I guess. I’m not exactly an expert of this psychological mechanism. Is it a defense mechanism? I know1 that during this time in my life I was thinking a lot, and probably not about what was happening in the present. The present at that time was uncomfortable, to say the least. My brother was unkind (again, to say the least) and my parents had been divorced since I was 8. These were not insignificant stressors, despite what [[John Butler]] might say, and on top of that I was a weird, inordinately curious, creative, sensitive and intelligent boy harbouring ideas whose origins I did not know. I have always been interested in metaphysics, and that was not a direct result of being raised in a dysfunctional suburban Adelaide family in the 80s. I mean, the dysfunction might explain it: any metaphysics germ must have found the ideal conditions in an introverted little boy who felt unwelcome and lonely in his family of origin. My wife reports that her way of coping with similar conditions was to retreat into a wildly active imagination, creating worlds to inhabit that she can still recall in her late 40s. I think my over-active intellect and hyper-curiosity is the result of a similar phenomenon, and might explain why I don’t have detailed memories of my childhood or adolescence. I do have the memory of an ethos though: isolation, alienation, unwelcome, a chronic sense of not belonging, a deep lonelinessi. Thankfully though, I can say sincerely that this loneliness no longer persists, and I credit that metaphysical germ for that: this germ has grown into a deep and abiding curiosity for spirituality and in particular certain Buddhist practices (zazen complemented by heart contemplations) are connecting me with Self through concentration on the unmediated present. With that Connection in place (and yes, it warrants the capital of a proper noun) I no longer wonder who I am or what I am or where or whether I belong as frequently as I once did. I cannot tell you what I am, though I know it; [[What is memory though?]]

# (align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[Consensus] # (align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[Reality] reduce line spacing 👆🏼 The first iteration of the monomyth is also the largest: [[1.i. the Ordinary World]] in this iteration is my pre-birth existence/experience, wherein I reside as an unindividuated part of the whole and feel a yearning to experience a human incarnation to learn something about the material dimension and bring this learning back to the spirit world. I thought that in this iteration I had not yet completed the cycle, believing it to terminate with death. But it’s “the 39 Years”. I elect to believe in such a spiritual worldview because it makes my life (seem) meaningful. I cannot and do not have aspirations to prove the truth of this worldview: all belief is chosen, except where it is imbibed through the osmosis of our upbringing among the [[causes and conditions]] of the material realm/incarnation. Though ''[[1.ii. the Call]]'' I cannot recall, I must have been keen because I was born prem. And the first ''[[1.iii. Refusal]]'' manifested as pneumonia at birth, a humidicrib was involved and apparently a helicopter, but I survived; Probably my mother was the first ''4. Mentor'' and ''5. the First Threshold'' of that completion of the separation stage was the coming of adolescence, replete with ''6. Bullies'' galore but some vital allies and close connections. Approaching the Cave might be my adventure in literary publishing, which awakened me to the tribulations of the world ~ ~ ~ There are micromonomyths at certain stages in this whole 39 Years, such as [[Thailand]] and [[Turkey]]

the Buddhist idea

# 1. Departure ## i. the Ordinary World //(align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[wherein I reside as an unindividuated part of the whole and feel a yearning to experience a human incarnation and learn something about the material dimension and bring this learning back to the spirit world ]//

## 1.ii. the Call

[img[images/Eucalyptus nicholii.jpg]]

Before we get started, I would like it noted that I remembered I was writing about memory, without having to look at where I had left off. Remembering is not my forte, but I did it! Now that we have that brief celebration out of the way, what is memory? It is the process of taking in information from the world around us, processing it, storing it, and later recalling that information. In that sense, this memoir is a memory exercise. I suppose there is an etymological connection there. And I suspect that even if we can define what memory is, we still don’t understand exactly how we do it, anymore than we understand how consciousness arises. And yet, memory plays a vital part in wellbeing, which I find sufficiently fascinating to be writing this unusual memoir. Memory, like first-hand experience itself, is open to interpretation, and that interpretation can change. We can change it. That's the whole point of a [[monomyth memoir|Consensus Reality]]. We can choose to interpret events differently as we remember them, but what if we can't remember the details and only an [[ethos]]? Mental illness, addiction, and trauma can impact the way we store and whether we are able to recall memories. There is evidence that people with [[depression]] can have reduced volume in the hippocampus, a part of the brain involved in memory. There are three ways to support recovery from depression by improving hippocampal volume, health and activity: exercise; demanding mental activity; and reduced recall of negative events. The third actually reduces hippocampal activity, and the method for this is [[mindfulness training]]. By cultivating awareness of our mental activity, we increase our capacity to choose what we are thinking and feeling. TODO try using templates to include different page/passage backgrounds/designs, depending on where the page fits within the narrative (such as a tangent or the main narrative)

# "Cycling trivialities" ### by José González ~ ~ ~ Too blind to know your best Hurrying through the forks without regrets Different now, every step feels like a mile All the lights seem to flash and pass you by So how's it gonna be When it all comes down, cycling trivialities But don't know which way to turn Every trifle becoming big concerns All this time you were chasing dreams Without knowing what you wanted them to mean So how's it gonna be When it all comes down, cycling trivialities So how's it gonna be When it all comes down, cycling trivialities Who cares in a hundred years from now All your small steps, all your shitty clouds Who cares in a hundred years from now Who'll remember all the players Who'll remember all the clowns So how's it gonna be When it all comes down, cycling trivialities So what does this really mean When it all comes down, cycling trivialities Cycling trivialities Cycling trivialities Cycling trivialities &c... ~ ~ ~ The first thing that comes to mind is the trip I made up the coast when my tenure at //Voiceworks// ended. I'm pretty sure Zoey B put me on to the album, //In Our Nature//. It was a burnt copy that I played over and over again on the system a friend had installed before I bought the campervan Delilah from him. This was with money dad had made available to me in what I guess was a kind of trust fund, an insurance thing. The song remains endlessly meaningful to me simply because of the lyrics "cycling trivialities", which to me refers to the nature of reality and the universe: I have often put this track on when I'm suffering or burdened by some fixation about something went 'wrong'. It reminds me that anything I am worrying about will eventually be 'recycled' and is essentiality, especially consider that Earth will one day be eaten by the sun. A triviality in the sense that what we are usually concerned about is irrelevant in the scheme of things the Eight Worldly Concerns cause suffering if we are overly fixated on them; and the 'scheme of things' being the order of the universe, the patterns and processes of the cosmos that are vastly, exponentially, even infinitely greater than our puny limited human minds can comprehend; the ego-centric view is what causes so much suffering and if we can see these ego-centric views as just cycling trivialities we can access a point of view that puts us in our place, a place of humility. This reminds me of ... so many things, but in particular a realisation I had during the 2009 trip about the arrogance of believing human activity can critically harm the health of the planet. I wrote about that on Nic Low's blog but I don't know if I'd be able to access that now. It was called //Nomadology//. ... and it reminds me that a central theme of the project and the reason for the main title Know Your Enemy: suffering; suffering is caused by ignorance and therefore the 'enemy' is our own [[ignorance|Buddhist ignorance]]. The project includes such ruminations on the "Cycling Trivialities" page for example, but would also elucidate the same ideas on an introduction page and there would be a site index referencing the pages where such themes are discussed and the site would just grow over time.

# depression

# traditions (align:"<==")+(box:"XXX==")[I (text-colour:purple)[walked] past a man wearing a memorial t-shirt for Senior Constable Someone and managed to catch a set of contradicting values: the radical's disdain for the police; and a kind of yearning for the comfort that might come from holding the sort of conservative views that value the tradition of maintaining a police force.] (align:"<==")+(box:"XXX==")[I am also smoking as far away from the entrance to the shopping centre as possible, as far away as possible from unsuspecting mouth breathers, and wondering: How is it that we maintain arguments from the free market to justify continuing to sell tobacco at the same time as maintaining the argument that curtails our freedom to smoke wherever we want. ] (align:"<==")+(box:"XXX==")[The govt makes tax money selling cigarettes so they can treat cancer cause by cigarettes. -pensive emoji-] (align:"<==")+(box:"XXX==")[An instrumental book to include in the text is Ayn Rand's //[[Philosophy: Who Needs It]]//], which I read in [[Thailand]] - a trip that constitutes a whole monomyth itself. I don't condone the use of force in society and have tried to read Foucault to understand this more, and I'd like to include a whole thread about philosophy because I value anarchism and am forever having to callibrate for discrepancies between my values and those expressed by society culture: I value freedom and have to compromise every time I curtain my freedom to meet societal expectations. Living with such values gaps causes consternation that [[impacts mental health|depression]]

[[1.i. the Ordinary World (Thailand)]]

[[1.ii. the Call (Thailand)]]